Till Death Do Us Walmart

Okay, so this isn’t a dream wedding: No flowers, no reception, no guests even. But on the flip side, if the wedding registry was done with Walmart, then this couple is killing two birds with one stone: They get to pick up their wedding gifts right after saying I do.

Walmart makes it easy for couples to set up a wedding registry via their website or app. They also have various sharing options, and you even get suggestions from other couples. This couple also deserves big respect for jumping immediately into a major marriage rite of passage… the first shopping trip.

I Have Eyes behind My Head

Everyone knows Post Malone, a famous musician with tattoos in his face. This Walmart customer went even more extreme, though, having a face tattooed on the back of his head. Maybe he wants to scare his children by literally having eyes behind his head. Perhaps he was young and impulsive when he got it.

What we’re wondering, based on the picture, is whether the sunglasses he’s looking at are for his face, or face behind his head. Walmart has an array of tattoo-related products, including temporary tattoos and permanent tattoo ink for real tattoo artists.

Monkey Business

Notice the way this monkey seamlessly blends into the bag it’s in? This woman knows she’s breaking Walmart rules. While the franchise allows service animals into their establishments, according to the American with Disabilities Act, a service animal is a DOG trained to assist a person with DISABILITIES.

So unless that monkey is a dog trained to find the mac and cheese, it doesn’t belong in the store. The woman has a valid reason, though: the breed she’s holding is the Capuchin, born smart and with nature for kleptomania. If she left it at home, her best silver spoons would be gone. Then again, who brings a kleptomaniac monkey into Walmart?

Driving Miss Lazy

Walmart stores are huge, with the average store size 105,000 square feet. That’s a lot of ground to cover even for able-bodied people, and this is why Walmart provides motorized shopping carts for their disabled customers.

Despite the criteria, store staff usually take people at their word when handing out the carts. The result? Well, a lot of “disabled” people taking the more comfortable option to get around the store floor. Some people even make it fun, like the group pictured, who decided to create a cycling echelon/multiple vehicle pile-up during a group shopping trip.

Did They Say Face Masks?

With the world in the grip of the COVID-19 pandemic, the powers at Walmart are covering every possible corner to ensure they keep their staff and customers safe while working and shopping. This includes a mandatory rule of wearing of protective facemasks while in-store.

But the facemask in the picture is not what they had in mind. Maybe the person in the image misunderstood what protective facemask means. Or perhaps she was getting ready for a night out in the lounge, then remembered that she needed to get some snack and meal ingredients to make the evening more exciting.